The Ultra Grail: Redefining My Trail Running Comeback.

Every now and then, I get caught in this mind loop, my trail running comeback goals. This atavistic need to strive for something is so strong within me that as soon as I piece together the shack of my life from mud and sticks again, I start looking for something to push me forward. I no longer fit the picture of escaping from something (adding stress with exhausting training to de-stress from work just doesn’t work, and if you think otherwise, that’s really, really bad).

It’s also not that I have no problems in life or too much free time; quite the opposite. Problems are abundant – worries, and the everyday responsibilities of being the so-called head of the family, making hundreds of decisions. When you also have a demanding professional life, it’s hard to talk about free time. In essence, I’m working all the time – if I’m not in the office, I’m thinking about what needs to be done, how it should be done, and how to strategically handle certain situations. It’s a waste of time to talk about work-life balance when you’re responsible for multi-million dollar projects and teams of dozens. Just to be clear, this isn’t bragging; it’s context.

Family is also a key context. My young child is just entering school age, which is quite a challenging step. Is this really a good moment to be seeking more challenges? My Ironman project (a full-distance one, specifically completing it) was 100% successful physically – I finished it. But did it bring me mental satisfaction? No.

One might wonder if a perfectionist can ever be satisfied. I’ll answer: there are mechanisms that still allow it. A well-defined “what,” meaning the outcome of a given project, if achieved, no longer legitimizes complaining that “I could have done better if only…” – especially when that “if only” is clearly defined upfront, there’s no room for debate. It’s difficult, requiring many skills and knowledge, not just about training specifics, but also about one’s capabilities and a rational, wish-free approach. Yet, it’s doable. This is key to my trail running comeback.

Chasing the Ultra Dream: A Different Approach to My Trail Running Comeback

Throughout my various narratives on this blog, the topic of “ultra” – ideally, one of the top ones – has come up several times. In the initial posts, in what became a certain definition of this place, I set a goal: 106 miles before I turn 50. Ideally UTMB. This, as you know, isn’t a 100% self-dependent goal, as I might simply not get drawn even if I collect all the points (UTMB Index), tokens (Rolling Stones), and meet any other conditions that may arise over time (essentially, it’s the same company as Ironman, so commercial aspects can shape things differently). The entire qualification system, point collection, and the necessity of completing various events within time limits completely eliminate random individuals from this lottery.

Ultra – 170km or less?

That’s 170km – a lot. From my current perspective, it’s too much. I have about four years left, maybe? I’ve learned that in an amateur athlete’s life, there are periods where it’s hard to plan even a week, and you operate on 2-3 day microcycles just to get anything done. So, plans for such goals become an abstraction. Preparing for Ironman took me about six years, from 2013 to 2019, and some aspects I’ll omit – it was irresponsible and foolish (my son was born during that time – I’ll write more about it someday, but you simply don’t prepare for such an event when you have a small child, period. It’s not an “achievement,” it’s foolishness – but it happened). The good thing is that 2019 was my time…

There’s time along the way to ask myself: is this really for me? More about the elimination system here: https://utmb.world/sports-system

So, if this were all to happen within the “100/50” project (100 miles, not km, before 50), the final event would fall in mid-2029. What kind of progression are we talking about here? 2026 – 50km, 2027 – 70km, 2028 – 100km, and 2029 – 170km! A true trail running comeback would involve a strategic build-up.

A Realistic Path to My Trail Running Comeback

Honestly, from my current situation and perspective, it’s a largely unrealistic goal. But it’s genuinely hard to predict what will happen in a few years with the current dynamism of life, the world, and everything around us that we deal with daily. A beautiful dream, okay. But I haven’t been in the Alps for years, haven’t run hard in the mountains for two years. This year, in sum, could be considered moderately successful, but looking from such a peak as Mont Blanc, it’s an unfair assessment.

I returned to running, with two false starts (a sprain and a three-week break), and then life dealt me another break for two family matters (sad but an inevitable part of our existence). This gave me a lot to think about. I don’t really need to aim so high anymore, and this isn’t spreading my potential thin, but rather a sensible, measurable assessment of my capabilities. This phase of my trail running comeback is crucial. Returning to races is within reach, but it’s slow, and any change in this dynamic ends in a flop.

I’m happy that it doesn’t hurt, that I can build more volume day by day, that progress is visible not just on charts but in the ease with which more kilometers come on longer weekend runs. Uphill sections on familiar routes are feeling flatter, which indicates growing functional strength. I’ve found space for rest, learning, and developing coaching skills. I don’t know if it makes sense to mess that up by chasing a rabbit. Maybe anything is possible, maybe one can do anything if they really try, but should they?

I thought I’d approach this differently. Completely differently. Let’s momentarily abandon the worn-out SMART technique for setting goals (in my opinion, SMART is completely unsuitable for long-term goals) and consider several important questions. Let’s use a system instead of a plan. Let’s use a different technique for defining and accounting for results. Let satisfaction be spread evenly throughout the entire process, across milestones and increasing levels of advancement and the overall trend, rather than accumulating in one “holy grail” for which the path becomes a torment. This new approach will define my trail running comeback.